An Ode to my Dad Part 2 .... (31 July 1940 to 09 Jan 2001)
Arjun Ramchand Mulwani
31 July 1940 to 09 Jan 2001
Civil Engineer by profession. A true Leo by nature. A doting and a strict Father.
Had posted part one last year on 29th July, and this being his birthday month, had to write another one. Got a very good reason as well to pen down this one.
This one's going to be simple too. Its the things Dad did for me knowingly and unknowingly. Growing up we didnt have a lot of money and were in fact a hand to mouth family. In spite of the most difficult personal and financial circumstances, Papa made my life interesting, comfortable and provided me holistic growth and nurturing in whatever way he could and in the little money we had.
1. Reading - As a kid, I never wanted to read. I was a studious kid and used to have my hands full with school studies so never wanted to indulge in anything more outside of it. Dad was adamant and used to often have fights with me that I wasn't reading anything else. However, he wasn't the types to give up so easily and not on me for sure. So he did the below things to make me read.
- Newspaper marking - Through the day, he would read the maximum of the newspaper, and later when he retired, he would almost finish it. He used to buy the 4 refill pen that had red/blue/black and green 4-in-1 ball-pen. Every evening I would get the paper handed over - anything marked in red has to be read on priority, next was blue, and then was green. Anything marked in black was optional / weekend reading. I was asked questions from what I read, and there would be wholesome dinner table and midnight discussions on those topics. Omg, how i miss those times!!
- Magazines and subscriptions - He got me talking on why I don't want to read and if I ever did what topics / books it would be. So he figured I wasn't the novel / fiction person at all. My first book was gifted by him called as Picnic Papers, which is a book on different types of picnics around the world, how they are celebrated etc. I finished the book within a week and then he got me a subscription for magazines - India Today, Illustrated Weekly, Mayapuri, Femina, a few Film magazines, Mid-Day, and the one that hooked me to reading was "Readers Digest". Interesting that I subscribed to readers digest after almost 25 + years now again. And I got its first issue just this week. Many many hours spent in reading them together, exchanging notes and discussing things I didn't understand.
- Crossword solving and dictionary discussions - Mid day crosswords had to be solved at least 2-3 times a week. And he would randomly pick a word from the dictionary and ask me its meaning. Then make sentences. And he would give me points out of 10 for those.
2. His love for Stationery - I have been gifted all sorts of pens, colors, brushes, erasers, fancy scales, notebooks, labels and anything that could make my writing and painting better.
3. Painting / Drawing - I will never be able to draw or paint like him, but whatever lil flair I have is bcos of him. Its genetic and he taught me .... especially outlining anything correctly. He used to help me draw and paint correctly for all my school and college submissions. Not to mention his handwriting was like "kaagaz pe moti". He made my writing clearer, better and beautiful when I was in standard 3. As a result of that, along with some other classmates, I used to be chosen for filling in the school registers at the beginning of the year, those days it was all handwritten in my school. Very less typing and no computers either. He would also help me with the quote of the day that I would need to write on the school board, when on duty for that. I don't remember a day when i needed something in stationery and I had to ask twice, never! Infact, I had an overdose at times of things. I overindulge in this, even now, sometimes.
4. Food - My food habits are 90% like him, except that I am not a huge nonvegetarian eater. Its him who would always want simple home food on regular home days, no fuss, no demands and would eat every vegetable, so do I. We were not allowed to ask mum "aaj khaane mein kya hai" .... he would say khushnaseeb ho ke table pe khaana hai. At the same time, every weekend he would pamper us with food from different restaurants. He would take us out or he would go and get it packed. No Zomato / swiggy that time, you see ๐. Never said no for any restaurant, unless it was so expensive that we couldn't afford it. When we, with time, became a lil okay financially, fine dine restaurants were a regular place to go to at least once a month. He was a great cook himself. And I say this, cos when he married mum, she didn't know even the names of the ingredients used in the kitchen. And he taught her, all of it. And my mum's an excellent sindhi home cook. I always saw them bonding over food. And his way of showering love on us kids, was also hugely through food. He taught me how to knead dough, how to make good chai, etc.
5. Music - His HMV Record player from the 1970s and the hugeeeeeee collection of round vinyl disc records. Oh God, how I regret giving it away. Our first Sony tape recorder. And then the CD players etc .... He first took me to a cassette shop and let me pick 10 cassettes of my own choice. Every month I was allowed to buy one cassette when I was in school. He would listen to English songs of those days and help me save money to even buy some cassettes in black. ๐. Singing with him, listening to his singing almost all the time when he was at home, was beautiful. The day he didnt sing, we knew, aaj pange nahi lene hain !
I have seen him save and spend money on finer things of life. While ensuring that our health and all other requirements were satisfied at least to the bare minimum. Not all good things need a lot of good money. Easy to use, simple and dedicated activities can bring so much joy, education and overall growth in children. Its something I have experienced first hand. I cannot be like my Dad, but I try to give as much as I can to my child and its not money.
Signing off for now. More next year!
