5 years .... Mommy is my new definition!

Dev turns 5 on 20th Feb and it still feels like it was yesterday when I first got to know that I was going to become a mommy!!! It was a strange day on 20th Feb 2007 ... went to the hospital for one of my regular check-ups. The doctor told me to stay put at the hospital cos I was going to be delivering the same day. It was a mixed feeling of anxiety and happiness. Someone who has been a part of your body and soul for the last nine months was going to be in my arms ... I was finally going to be able to see my kid...and hold him / her .... Nothing can be compared to that moment .... ever!

He's been my only reason to live, at least, in the last 5 years .... and I have learnt a lot in the last 5 years too! Life for a mother is very difficult and as a single parent it becomes tougher. I struggled through my separation and divorce while Dev was just an infant. Its during that phase of life, that I realised, that being a parent doesn't give you the right to keep the kid. There is a law that dictates who is a good parent. Also, the law of the country favours the mother ... don't know if that is the right thing (another topic for another post)! Fortunately the custody discussion didn't go ugly and Dev didn't have to be torn between 'Who loves him more?' debates!

However, those years taught me a lot about my son .. that he is an individual. Not an object that can be owned... There are a lot of other people in his life, who love him equally if not more ... who would look after him as well as I would, if not better! It prepared me to let him go if that was the need of the hour and the law. Its the most excruciating pain a parent can go through, especially if s/he is the one who has bonded more and better with the child.

His father has his way of being with him and I had to come to terms with the fact that Dev will always need both of us. He made me aware that he has his own life to live and we have to make his life worthwhile for him, in whichever way we can.

Dev managed to convert the workaholic individual in me to a working mother. He taught me how to prioritise my tasks and my life. He brought the madness back in my life. Due to my brother's illness and more so after my brother passed away, I had forgotten to sing, to laugh, to dance and to be "normal" .... Dev got it all back! I am his joker, his favourites songs play list, his dance partner, his play partner and everything else that a child makes out of their parents.

He never gives up and has taught me to not give up on anyone I love! He learnt to be OK when I was travelling. He manages to stay happy when I am busy! He has made me a better person. He makes me a proud mom and helps me be a single parent with whatever little support he can offer. Dev has coped with just one parent being around. Children do adapt and adopt at a faster rate. Not sure if he will be able to manage it with so much ease even when he grows up. But I know if one keeps them away from the melodrama and the unwanted complications of failed relationships, they do grow up to be balanced people.

I have no expectations from him in terms of he looking after me when I grow old. If he can introduce me to his friends and chooses to spend a few days in a year with me, happily, I will be fine with it. I know that he and I will share a happy relationship when he is on his own. There are too many things that go wrong when we have a structured, predefined approach to life. Every child teaches you ten thousand new ways of not following that approach! I have learnt to be flexible and more accepting of human imperfections because of my son.

Thanks Dev for choosing me to be your mommy! You are the angel of my life and I love you more than my life. May God bless you with his choicest blessings!!

Jaago mohan pyaare .... jaago!

The big divide .... 

Between?

The rich and the poor ....

The good and the bad ....

The beautiful and the ugly .....

The fat and the thin ...

The man and the woman .....

Nahhhh .... the one thing that has been a tic in my life since I was a kid ....

"The early risers" vs the kumbhakarans / "sust" characters / lazy bums, i.e., "the late risers"!!!

**This post is strictly in favour of the ones who believe in getting up late.
Note - BELIEVE in getting up late. Its not an event that occurs on one weekend or only when you are tired. You believe in "not" seeing the morning sun, cos you lurveeeeeeeee your sleep :D

Torture used to be bestowed upon me by my parents until I started working ... every morning a bhajan used to be sung in the home .... 'uthja betaaaaa' .... 'dekh subah ho gayi' .... 'get up and have your breakfast' .... and after about an hour of nagging it used to come to ....'uthtee hai ke nahi?' ... and then Dad in my room!!! Khatam, up and out of my bed .... half awake ... pretending to be extremely sorry about getting up late, 'one more time' .... Ok, don't make faces now! And the ones who are like me, laugh out loud :P.

I mean, why do people get up early?? WHY? Health benefits - ah well! Accepted ... and what else? My school timing was 1230 to 630 pm .... my mother used to leave home between 930 and 10am, and for obvious reasons, I used to prefer getting up post she left home. I mean who wants to be asked 10,000 questions early in the morning?!! Dad used to love discussing his morning newspaper headlines with me .... and he mostly missed me for that. Housework or studies was never the reason ... Mom just didn't like someone lying half dead in the house until noon or beyond. Yes beyond 12pm, I mean why is it a problem?

The early risers actually treat the others like they were born on another planet. No, I am not an alien and I will not get up early. Hehe!!

Earlier it was only parents and now its my son ... God is probably giving me opportunities to sudharo myself and I am refusing to learn. Dev gets up quite early and has already given up on me... He goes downstairs to give company to his ever-awake Nani. And when I descend from my room....they look at me as if I had just murdered 4 people in my room, drank their blood and come down for more ... Hello??? I don't bother the early risers, nor do I question their habit (at least didn't, so far!!) ...

So the early risers, are the rich, good and the beautiful ones .... They have the advantage of finishing everything earlier in the day and at the same time get bored until the devils wake up to entertain them. It is practically impossible for a late riser to convert unless there is a life & death situation. For work, I leave home in time. While travelling outside Pune, I get up whatever time I have to and sometimes leave home as early as before 5 am. For exams, I used to get up at 3am to study. I can get up very early for picnics and outings. I used to manage a 7am shift at one time. But showing my face to the rising sun will happen only if needed.

However, biologically some bodies are not engineered to get up early. And some just love sleep ... I am probably one of them. I can doze off in a train, bus or a cab or an auto. I love to doze off when I am travelling to Bombay in the cab and its probably the most satisfying and intense sleep! I am sure God has the two groups wired differently. The early risers probably feel the same way about the other group. And no, we cant explain to anyone how peaceful it is to sleep with so much of noise and buzz around us!!! It probably works like a lullaby ... sachchi!!!


So dear early risers, keep the bhajans going on ..... keep nagging .... call us names .... hum nahi sudhrengein!!! Toxins can stay inside ... green tea hai na! Sun can smile at all the suryanamaskaris ... sandhya aarti hai na .... I am a proud kumbhakaran!!!!

Have a great week ahead guys!!